You like posing as a safari guide, and a Tilley's Endurables VOMP (vest of many pockets: www.itchyfeet.com/images/tilley_vomp_vest.jpg) will complete your disguise.
Make no mistake, wearing a vest with 16 pockets anywhere but on the trail is an open invitation to have your ass kicked through the top of your head. But if you revel in making other people uncomfortable and/or angry with you, the VOMP will get the job done.
There's another way of looking at it, too: if the VOMP is too much vest for your lifestyle, maybe the problem isn't the vest - maybe the problem is your lifestyle. Why aren't you on a photo assignment stalking man-eating tigers in the Sundarbans?
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