Medieval Castle

You like owning a home with murder holes over the front entrance and a dungeon in the basement. A medieval castle should fit the bill.

You've got a couple of choices: buy or build. Buying a castle has a number of advantages, the primary one being its authenticity and history. Owning an 800-year old castle is cool (http://www.castles-for-sale.com/). Building your own castle smacks of 40-year old virgins who took their Dungeons and Dragons a bit too seriously.

Building a castle has its pluses, though. Modern building materials mean your new home will be comfy, and you won't have a two million dollar roof repair bill a year after you buy the thing. Plus, you can site it wherever you wish. Affordable, ancient castles might be located in crappy countries where people shit standing up. Ugh.

These dudes look like they do good work: http://www.castlemagic.com/color.html. Just ignore the goofy photos of nerds in period costumes. I'm down with wanting a castle, but aspiring to be Henry VIII - that murderous fuck - is just lame. Royalty sucks.