Pink Ribbons

You don't like pink ribbons.

That's right, I'm calling out the breast cancer campaign. (And I'm not the only one: http://www.bcam.qc.ca/news/13-1/pink.html) Never let it be said that Rick Spalding avoids the tough topics. I'm sick of these fucking pink ribbons. What is the point of having a big pink ribbon on the back of your car? What statement are you making? It can't be to raise awareness, because breast cancer is now the Paris Hilton of diseases - every product and every person in North America is "aware."

So is it supposed to be a statement, and what statement would that be? "I don't like cancer"? That's got to be the most ridiculous public statement ever made. You might as well have a bumper sticker saying "I don't like Hitler." Everyone hates cancer, ya dumbasses, so why do you need a fucking ribbon proclaiming your non-stance?

There actually are other diseases that afflict humans, you know - diseases that kill more people than breast cancer, even. I'm not saying breast cancer isn't important. Of course it is. So is prostate cancer, but I don't wear a ribbon to register with everyone who sees me that I'm "opposed" to prostate cancer.

So new rule. The only people who are allowed to wear pink ribbons, buy pink ribbon merchandise or put pink ribbons on their cars are women who have breast cancer, and maybe - just maybe - their immediate family: spouse, parent, child, perhaps sibling. That's it. Why the exception for these people? Because if you're actually suffering from breast cancer, or it's having a direct impact on your life, who the fuck am I to tell you what you need to do to feel better.

The rest of you, however are just vultures - get a different hobby.