Rockall

You like giant chunks of stone that stick out of the ocean.

If I told you there was a tiny island, north of Ireland en route to Iceland, sticking like a jagged tooth out of the Atlantic, would you believe me?

Oh, you would. Okay. See, I was gonna say something like, "Well you should, fucko, cuz it's true!" Seems kind of pointless now, though, eh? Well, anyway, it's true, there is, and it's called Rockall.

Almost as tall as it is wide, this "islet" is just begging to be the site of a super-secret Bond villain HQ. There's a little flat patch -- called Hall's Ledge -- just below the summit. That's where I'd put the entrance. Disguise it as something inconspicuous, like a red manhole cover, and have an elevator dropping down into a cavern as big as Sarawak Chamber. That's where you'd have the gun-toting bikini chicks pumping gas into high-speed submersible ski-doos in preparation for an invasion of Franz Josef Land (that's where they'd want to build the new improved super secret base).

Rockall has been briefly occupied before, but never by me. I am currently looking for a volunteer to live there permanently, claiming Rockall in the name of Like. I can offer you three cans of kidney beans and a number of swear words to use against the British navy when it comes calling.