Dyb dyb dyb, dob dob dob

You like scouting.

Might as well address the controversy up front. Boy Scouts have been under fire for years--and deservedly so--for their anti-gay, pro-God views. I've done a bit of reading on this--hey, did you know gay no longer means happy?--and it seems like the criticisms are justified: BSA is a theistic, bigoted organization (I'm aware of the argument that BSA has the right to uphold its values even if other people don't like them, and yes, that position actually has some merit--but it doesn't change the fact that their stance is fucking idiotic). Usually, this would be grounds for me to start some sort of grassroots campaign, but I've given up on those. No matter how many grass roots I collected, no one seemed to give a shit.

In this case, however, the clear evil of prejudice and worship of the Jesus are just the shitty caraway seeds in an otherwise great loaf of bread. Uniforms? Check. Great outdoors? Check. Badges? Check and check.

We need dem stinking badges. Merit badges have changed with the times, while retaining some of the really cool, old school skills. Bugling was awesome a hundred years ago and it's still awesome today, but now you can also get a badge in composite materials. Okay, bad example. But nuclear science is a new badge, and that's pretty wicked: to get the badge you have to enrich half a kilogram of uranium. Or, even better, you can do it simultaneously with crime prevention--which replaced the death penalty badge in 1996--by launching a preemptive nuclear strike on Iran.

BSA also deserves credit for trying to be more progressive--baby steps and all that. They've had a disability awareness badge since way back in 1993, which was only the second year America had disabled people. Not that anyone wants that badge. Wheelchair studies? Fuck that. Do shotgun shooting and robotics; if you design a Terminator, they promote you to Eagle Scout.