Sweet treet

Did you know maple syrup comes from trees? Yeah, it does. Seriously. Trees. And you like it.

All you do is jam a beer tap into a trunk and rich maple syrup flows out. It's that easy. Thomas Jefferson envisioned a future when America's sugar would be supplied by maple trees. Man, he was addicted to the shit. His cooks made the very first Kit Kat bars, but they made them with maple syrup and acorn butter, instead of cane sugar and palm oil.

But I digress. Eat maple syrup. It's "The great taste of trees--in a bottle!" (And no, I did not receive $342.89 from the Maple Tappers Board of Montpelier to push their slogan. That's a bald-faced lie spread by my enemies at Domino. You know the old Sicilian saying: Never believe a man who makes pizza for a living if he's a liar.)